


She's the angel of small death

by Artistry_Avenue



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Author projecting onto Lucretia (the adventure zone), Campaign: Balance (The Adventure Zone), Memory Loss, Not Beta Read, Other, Pining, Spoilers for Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:14:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28351485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artistry_Avenue/pseuds/Artistry_Avenue
Summary: Taako leaned his head back, eyes wandering back to the bookshelves, "have you ever been in love?"Lucretia choked on her drink, almost dropping the cup entirely before setting it down and clearing her throat. "Pardon me?" She choked out, bewildered and shocked nearly out of her own skin.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, The Director | Lucretia & Taako, The Director | Lucretia/Lup, Unrequited!The Director | Lucretia/Lup
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	She's the angel of small death

**Author's Note:**

> A drabble of Lucretia's feelings and not-quite relationship with Lup. 
> 
> This was inspired by me thinking about unrequited lupcretia while listening to angel of small death and the codeine scene by Hozier.
> 
> Enjoy!

Lucretia sat at her desk, going through the papers for the week as quiet settled around her. It was, as far as the late mornings on a moon base go, quite a lovely day. She had her whole day free, outside of making sure the paperwork for the week was organized and taken care of.

Maybe after this, she would take a day to herself, perhaps even go to an art gallery or visit a library. It'd been a while since she'd gotten herself a new book to read. The best part is that no one had come to bother her-

"Madame director, I gotta hide out here for a bit!" Taako exclaimed, quickly slamming the door shut behind him before running and ducking under her desk like a bat out of the astral plane.

Well, there goes the quiet. "Taako,  _ what  _ are you doing?" She pushed her chair back a bit, folding her arms as she stared expectantly at the wizard under her  _ desk _ .

He peeked over the edge of the desk back at the door before slinking back under and bringing his knees to his chest. He had the audacity to  _ grin  _ at her, as if I hadn't nearly broken her door and her privacy.

"I pissed off Johann because I found a love ballad he wrote and started teasing him about it. Can you believe it? A  _ love ballad! _ Who does that anymore?" He cackled, ears tilting back with mirth. "Anyways, I'm hiding out here because I know he thinks I wouldn't do something like this but he  _ clearly _ doesn't know me if he thinks that."

Lucretia set her elbows on the desk, resting her head on her laced together hands. "Well, you're here, and I'm assuming I can't get you to leave," taako shook his head with a smug look, the bastard, "so let me put away my paperwork and we can go to my quarters for some tea, instead of you hiding here all day."

She filed away the work, standing up and ushering Taako through a door near her desk. 

Her own quarters were rather plain. She didn't have the heart to decorate this place the way she did back home on the Starblaster. Still, she did have a few things here and there. Mostly bookshelves full with journals and novels and other books. Taako whistled, wandering towards one of the bookshelves for a moment before snorting and pulling out a book with a brightly painted cover.

"Really? Caleb Cleveland?" He teased, opening it and flipping idly through the pages.

Lucretia rolled her eyes, some of her professional demeanor slipping into the natural comfort she used to know so well, "Angus suggested them to me. He said they were a nice read for passing the time and they were. I'm planning on getting the other books for us to read together next week."

She drifted toward the kitchen while Taako looked at some of her other titles, throwing the occasional tease and remark.

She went through the routine of making tea. Mint tea with an absurd amount of honey for her, raspberry with nothing in it for Taako. When she carried the two cups out, the wizard had made himself at home on her couch, shoes by the door and hat on the coat rack.

"Good to see you have house manners at least. Though we'll have to work on your office manners," she snarked back, raising an eyebrow at him and getting a surprised and delighted look back. "So she can joke! And here I thought you were just stoic and  _ boring _ !"

She set one cup in front of him before settling into a lounge chair next to the couch. "I can be stoic and boring if you'd prefer a pay cut," she raised an eyebrow at him before sipping at her tea.

Taako choked on his tea, sputtering into a laugh that made Lucretia feel almost at home. It brought a small laugh out of her.

He eventually calmed down, staring down at his tea with a curious expression, "hey, how'd you know raspberry is my favorite tea?"

_ Oh shit _ .

"It's a weird talent of mine. I'm rather good at guessing people's favorite tea," she lied, staring at the cup in her hands. "Plus, raspberry is a favorite of mine, as well."

Taako leaned his head back, eyes wandering back to the bookshelves, "have you ever been in love?"

Lucretia choked on her drink, almost dropping the cup entirely before setting it down and clearing her throat. " _ Pardon me?" _ She choked out, bewildered and shocked nearly out of her own skin.

Taako sat up, one of his ears flicking back as he rushed out, "I noticed all of your romance novels!" In justification.

She sank into her chair with relief, "sweet Fantasy-Jesus, Taako. I thought this was going to go into an improvised therapy session about healthy relationships."

She hated being on the receiving end of  _ that _ back during the cycles. Merle always knew exactly how to make a conversation extremely awkward.

"In any case," she continued, leaning back until her face was towards the ceiling, "I have. I was only truly in love once, and that was a long time ago. I don't think I was able to love someone else quite like that again, even with Maureen."

Taako leaned forward, "who was it?"  _ There he goes, always digging for drama _ .  _ I've missed this _ .

"She was beautiful, an elf like you. You remind me a lot of her sometimes. She did conjuration magic, fire mostly. It suited her," she closed her eyes, imagining Lup against the endless black behind her eyelids. Lup creating explosions and dancing arrays of warm light around her. Lup smiling at her and calling her babe. Lup comforting the night everyone came back after the cycle alone, holding her while she wailed because she could finally be  _ vulnerable _ again.

"Her spirit, her personality, everything about her was like fire. Bright and resilient and so so  _ beautiful _ . I loved her like I had never loved anything or anyone before. The closest thing I could put to it was when I realised just how much I loved writing, but even that doesn't hold a candle to her."

She paused for a moment, and when she heard no words from Taako, she continued.

"She didn't love me the same way though. I was such a coward back then, too afraid to tell her because I was scared that she would think different of me. Her friendship meant everything to me and I was too scared of losing it. I don't think it would have worked anyways. I was too quiet back then, if she had loved me the same she would have burned me up like a forest fire. In the end, she loved someone else. He was a good match for her, smart and not very confident, but still much less quiet than I was. I'm glad she was happy in the end."

She hadn't realised the tears falling until she opened her eyes and found everything blurry through them. She wiped her eyes, trying to regain  _ some  _ composure. "Sorry, sorry, this is incredibly unprofessional of me as your employer-"

"What was her name? Maybe you've still got a chance with her. After all, you're not a coward anymore, you're leading a badass organization!" Taako interrupted, grinning at her like she hadn't just confessed how much she was in love with his sister.

It felt… wrong _.  _ She felt guilty.

"That wouldn't really be possible. She died in the relic wars. She just went missing and was never found because of the gauntlet," she stated, shoving down her feelings. Taako's face dropped, "oh… well at least we got the gauntlet now. It can't hurt anyone anymore," he offered, trying to smile at her.

Lucretia just nodded. Taako sighed, leaning back on the couch, "you never told me her name. Maybe I can ask bone boy to say hello for you."

She looked at him with a sympathetic smile, "I don't think I could bring myself to say her real name, but some people close to her called her Lulu. She always pretended to hate when most people called her that but I always saw her smiling when she thought no one was looking anyways."

Taako looked at her so softly, and it was almost like they were home again, sitting in the common room of the Starblaster, bonding over being some of the most lonely of the crew.

She wiped her eyes again, standing up to collect their empty cups, "I think I've had more than enough emotions for one day. Besides, I was still planning on heading out to Neverwinter to check out the art scene. It's been a while since I had a free day."

Taako stands up as well, stretching his arms above him before placing his hands on his hips, "mind if I tag along? I can pretend to be your date so people leave as alone."

Lucretia chuckled, picking up on the joke, "is this about Avi referring to me as a milf again? I told you, I'm hardly motherly. In any case, I don't think I would mind the company."

The wizard stepped towards the door, grabbing his hat and slipping on shoes. "I'll be waiting at the launch bay! Maybe I can get Avi to hide me in one of the orbs."

Lucretia shook her head, fondness welling up in her chest, "I'll be there soon, I just have to change into something more publicly acceptable first."

Taako waved as he left, closing the door with an exaggerated "adieu!"

All alone now, Lucretia paused, placing a hand on her rapidly beating heart to try and slow it.

Taako had been the only one who knew about how much she loved Lup.

It's ironic that he's the only one to learn about it after all this time, after forgetting about her.

She hoped Lup didn't hate her too much for this.

She would fix this, for her.


End file.
